The Allen's Life

And the momentum came to a stop

2011-01-18T09:41:00.003-05:00

We got the flu! Anything else wouldn't have stopped me so completely, but right now I'm basically back to square one. Ugh, I did not know a fever was so painful. I guess it gets that way when you get older. I had it the worst, which is always bad because Daddy had to take care of us all week. Poor guy, he was so stressed out. But he did awesome. The kids have watched more tv and movies in the past week and a half than they have in their entire lives combined. But that was literally all we were able to do. We stayed home so as not to spread it and that got tiring too, being that stuck together for so long. Thankfully Jeremy never got it and if Gideon did get it, his case was the lightest. Eowyn was pretty miserable for a few days. We still have a slight cough, but everyday we are getting better. The kids have never been so willing to take naps everyday, but they were asking for naps right after lunch. I, of course, have obliged because I was ready for a nap too.

So here's to starting over...again.

My Triumphs

2011-01-04T17:43:00.002-05:00

Well, I got the title of this post done yesterday. So...yesterday went ok, although I wouldn't call it triumphant. Hmp. But Monday, the First Day, was pretty good. We've got all the regular New Lifestyle changes: saving money, exercising, getting up earlier, being more scheduled, yada, yada, yada. So Monday we got up at 7, moved around a bit, and the day went well. I started couponing, although I'm not very good at it yet I don't think. But I did save about $60 in groceries. I'm using southernsavers.com for advice and help. Good blog if you've never seen it. Let's see, what else did we do well? We kept the house clean, I got all the errands run, and the day ran smoothly. I wish that the good things in life weren't so difficult. (Oh, and I know most people don't have any trouble getting up at 7, but Jeremy's work day doesn't begin until 9:30, so we usually sleep until 8 or so. This makes it hard to get ready for church on time though.)

The Second Day we were able to keep the house from being destroyed. That's all.

The Third Day has almost beaten me, but that's how Wednesdays always are anyway. The only reason I'm blogging today is because I like to write, I like the effectiveness of typing. Wednesdays are class days. Eowyn's Foundations class begins at 9, then lunch at 12, then the class I tutor begins at 12:30, ends at 4:30, church begins at 5:30 with dinner, and I teach a class at church at 7. We get home for the first time all day at 8:30, and I promptly zone out.

I think it's bed time now. Good night!

The Second Day

2011-01-04T11:04:00.004-05:00

The Second Day of a New Lifestyle always seems to be the hardest. The First Day you have the enthusiasm. The Second Day, you are tired. Today is the Second Day for our family. It's going as expected. We overslept, through the alarm, I'm still in my pjs, as are the kids. Jeremy ran to work, and the house is slowly becoming a mess again all because we didn't start out right. Sigh. I hate the Second Day.

I have decided, though, that even though the Second Day did not start out correctly, it is no reason to lose what we have already gained. So the small messes that are popping up through out the house are being picked up, before they turn into the "insurmountable task" of cleaning the whole house. The beds are being made, no matter that it is later in the day than what is supposed to be the proper time to make the beds. The laundry is being done, because today is designated laundry day. I will shower, when the hot water returns (because I already started the laundry). And the day will not be lost! We will not lose what we have gained!

I know most moms are already organized, most children already make their beds, most houses stay clean all the time. (At least this is what I'm led to believe by magazines and what not.) We have made our house so that it is easy to keep it clean, everything has a place. The kids are still not trained to put everything into it's place though. Working on that. And the husband still has trouble with that idea. He's one who Finds places for things. That's why, right now on top of my bookshelves lie two obtrusive and irriating cardboard boxes. Filled with who knows what because I can't reach them. And he laughs, like it's a funny joke, when I point them out. Because it is kind of funny, and a running joke in our house, the way he "puts things away." I don't know if you can really call it that though.

Anyway, maybe later today I will share some of my triumphs from our First Day of the New Lifestyle. And maybe I'll make today triumphant too!

My 2010

2010-12-31T23:24:00.003-05:00

Some people on Facebook have listed out what's happened in the last year. It made me think about my year, how very much I am glad it's coming to a close. Things have changed this year, and it's not been easy.

First the remodeling was hard. That doesn't even come close to how difficult it was. It was such a relief to get the house back in order. And it is wonderful now that it's done, but it was exhausting. Whew!

Then the babies started coming. One in May, the next in June. The last in October. That was even harder. I dread the next 6 months. I have 3 "due dates" to live through, starting in January. I keep wondering. Keep wishing. Keep crying.

And school started. It was harder than I expected. I found out Eowyn is one of those children who is different from everyone else. I guess that's why I gave her that name. Teaching her has proven to be a challenge, but also a lot of fun. The way she learns is much like me, she can't really memorize mote facts, but if she understands them, knows the story behind the facts, then she can memorize them. Still trying to find a story behind geography and science and math. She likes to question, everything, but the trouble is that her understanding isn't up to her questions. She asks some really difficult questions, questions that make me think and consider, but how to explain to a four year old? I'm still wondering, and hoping this next semester and year are better.

It has been a busy year. The summer was busy with gardening and canning, but also with training and getting ready for school. I'm trying to organize this year so that that won't happen again. I wasn't prepared for the failures at canning either. The ketchup was a fiasco. My cucumbers were ready waaaay before my peppers so I couldn't make any relishes, and also, we couldn't find a good dill recipe. Even though we tried like 3 or 4 times.

This year has had moments of joys and triumphs, but mostly pains. Praise God that the way life is is not the way life will be. Or even should be. Good bye 2010.

New Year's Resolutions

2010-12-29T18:47:00.003-05:00

Maybe if I put it in writing on the Internet I'll actually follow through? Here's hoping anyway.

You know, part of me wants to say I'm not going to make a resolution. It would be the same as last year's, and end up being another failure. Maybe I should change it up. Besides, I make resolutions all year long. They are lists of things to do, that need to be done, or that I just want done. And most of the things on those lists get checked off. Sometimes the things are put off until another time, sometimes those things are let go. Sometimes things come up that change the need of those things. And then they are scribbled out of the lists. (That's my key to knowing the item no longer needs to be done.) I like having lists, and I love checking things off the lists. But the last month or so I've been living without a list, and it's been pretty nice. We've enjoyed life more. We've played more. Slept in, and cuddled, talked, and gone out more. It's been nice living without the stress of a list. So maybe that's what my New Year's Resolution will be. To live a whole year without a list. Ohhh, that scares me a little. Ok, never mind.

So what should my resolution be? That is the question of this post, I know, and you, my dear (and probably only) reader, are anxiously waiting for my declaration. Here it goes:

I resolute to....

...make a year's supply of laundry detergent and cleaning supplies

...save money

...teach Eowyn with patience

...potty train Gideon (I would say with patience, but let's not press our luck)

...try and fail again at canning my garden's produce (the more failures I make means the less failures I'll make the next year; by the way, anyone know a good ketchup recipe?)

...take more pictures of the kids

...write one letter a month (it's only 12, right?)

I think that's a good start. I know, the one thing missing is probably what needs to be in there the most (losing weight) but it's everyone's, and I'm tired of saying that every year. So bah humbug! I've only put things on my list that I know for certain I can do (except possibly the patience part) and I don't want another failure list in my notebook.

And my Christmas "surprise"

2010-12-26T20:15:00.004-05:00

To remember my three lost babies.

Another Christmas Post!

2010-12-26T19:28:00.006-05:00

I think the day after Christmas should be a holiday every year from now on. It's been so nice being stuck in the house all day, playing with our new toys, playing in the snow, taking a long winter nap together, and just being comfortable all day. We did miss a family get together in AL that we were disappointed about, but we did enjoy our time in the house.

Christmas morning was so much fun! Eowyn came to wake us at 8, which is her usual time. I think next year we will start having to get up earlier. But she may give us another year, who knows. Eowyn did go check to make sure Santa had come before she came to get us. She was so excited. Gideon was a little grumpy man when she and I woke him, but he cheered up after he nursed. We tortured them by making them wait until we had gotten ready, and at one point they tried to break free! This is Jeremy trying to hold them back until I got a picture.

So I snapped a picture of the tree as quickly as I could. And it looks like Santa did come to our house! They just love him.

Here they are starting out. They both received a dragon and the movie How to Train Your Dragon. (We all really liked that movie.) Eowyn also got a diaper bag filled with all the essentials for her Baby doll, an outfit with a matching one for her baby, and some school books. She was really excited about her new water bottle though. It's funny what they pick to be excited about. Gideon got a fleece shield and axe, a tractor book and puzzle, and a camo outfit so he can go deer huntin' with Daddy. (And the big box of beer is for Jeremy, just to be clear! Ha!)

Here they are digging in their stockings. The stockings held their water bottles, socks for Eowyn, and a Veggie Tales for Gideon, with some fruit.
It was a wonderful morning, the kids loved their gifts! I love Christmas!

Christmas post

2010-12-22T20:56:00.006-05:00

Ahh..so this is what it's like to use a computer that doesn't actually balk at the assumption that it should be able to flip through internet pages. Jeremy's parents gave us a new laptop for Christmas and it is awesome! Thank you so much Geri and Terry! The pages go so quickly, I don't have to play solitaire while I wait for each page to load. And I can even move the computer around. Right now I'm sitting on the couch. Our old computer was almost 7 years old, and even though it was great back then, 7 years is ancient in computer stuff. It was a laptop too, but the battery didn't work, and the cord was shorted so if you moved it accidentally the whole thing would just shut down. Fun to write posts, load pictures, etc on that old thing. Anyway, hopefully I will be better about posting. I lost one of my excuses anyway!

Right now the kids are watching the Polar Express. I don't love all the Christmas movies out there, but this one is fun. It has the great line about some of the most real things are things we can't see. Very true. This Christmas season has been a fun one for our family. Jeremy has had to work extra hours, but we've had lots of fun when he isn't working. We've fed seagulls in the parking lot of Ingles, we've gone to Christmas parties, we've gone to see the Dawn Treader (great movie!), we've had company, taken pictures, shopped, and lots of other things. We haven't gone to see Santa Claus though. Oh well. Another thing we haven't done is worked on the house, and it's been wonderful! We did finish putting pictures up on the walls last weekend, right before Jeremy's parents came up to visit, and even though there are a few more things I'd like to do, we are basically finished with remodeling. Jeremy says those things are things I can do when I get bored again. I'm glad that year is over!

Our Christmas pictures were so easy this year! I guess it's because our kids are getting older. It's too bad, I liked sending out the funniest Christmas pictures. Maybe we'll get a funny one next year. We were seriously done with the pictures within 5 minutes. The kids just looked perfect in the first 5. They are getting so big. I can't wait until Christmas morning, it's going to be so fun!

I hope you and yours have a very merry Christmas!

The Unfinished Living Room!

2010-09-09T12:00:00.005-04:00

Here's a couple before pics first. You can see how the kitchen and the living room were one big room. While you would think building a wall inbetween the two rooms would make everything seem smaller, it actually made our space much bigger. Our problems with the big room were toys and other "living" things were easily scattered across the kitchen. We wanted to define the spaces so that they could be used each for their own purposes.

And taadaa! The new living is so great! We still have a desk we're refinishing to put in here and two new endtables we built that we have to finish as well, and pictures on the walls I know. Hmm.

The white furniture is from Ikea, and the leather chair is from JCP. It's not new, we had it before the remodel.

And this is the new wall, with a sneak peek into the kitchen. We have a ton of books, but no where to put a bookshelf. Plus bookshelves are always terrorized by unobserved children (which, of course, mine never are, but just in case some other children come over! HA!). So I went to Lowes, bought some boards and brackets, painted the boards, and hung them all up with some heavy duty wood nails into the studs. It was only a day project, which is awesome. And then I was so excited to started unpacking all the books. (1/3 of which I got rid of!)
(Oh and those baskets are going to go into our endtables as drawers.)This is one of my new pillows. I still have more to make, but this one was so easy. I didn't sew, except for the buttons. I used some kind of hem tape to put it together. It's a burlap fabric and its based off of a PB pillow I liked.
And these are the two other fabrics that I have to make pillows with. I'm still looking for some kind of geometric print for a little more texture (since everything else in the room is solid colors).
This is the other side of the room, looking into the hall. We had a friend of Jeremy's build this entertainment center and he does absolutely beautiful work. If you need something built (and you'll see more examples of his work in the rest of my house), let me know and I'll get you his information.

The floors (I love them!) are another find on craigslist. We decided to go with laminate, but we wanted something dark and real looking for cheap. These were .89 cents a sq. ft. which is an awesome price. In order to keep bugs out, when we were laying down the floor I sprinkled borax everywhere. It's worked great! And the rug also really excited me. I needed a 8x10 for the space. We stopped by the PB outlet in Gaffney on the way home from GA and they were just happening to have a 40% off rug sale. Yea! Jeremy and I agreed on this one, and it was only $250. I wanted something kind of plain and neutral so that I could switch out pillows and/or curtains and not have to buy a new rug too.
Here's a close-up of the curtains. I picked out these long before we even started work on the house. They are from Jcp and lined to help keep outside air out.
And finally, a shot from the front door! Feels so good to be able to live in our living room again!

The hall

2010-09-07T10:49:00.003-04:00

Now, I know a hallway is not very exciting, but when you live in a house of only 1100 sq.ft. extra storage is thrilling. We have a storage building outside, and a crawlspace (although stuff stored down there gets moldy), but the building was filling up with kids clothes. And since I'm hoping to be able to use all those clothes again, we needed a space to put them. Our house didn't have an attic ladder access, so (and this is sounding old now) I found one on craigslist for $40. That's $160 savings from Lowes! My brother and Jeremy put the ladder in. It's not a ton of space, but it holds a lot more than the building did, and it gives us the building to keep our gardening things and tools in, which gets those out of my laundry closet. Woohoo!

In the before shots you can see the lovely particle board floor that we lived on for several weeks. And you can get a sneak peak of the flooring we put down. Again, the hall needs pictures put on the walls. Picture-hanging is not very fun for me.

Eowyn's first day of school!

2010-09-06T08:25:00.003-04:00

So, this is a little late, but we started home-schooling last Wednesday! We are in a new community here in Albemarle, called Classical Conversations. We all meet once a week, in a class setting with a tutor (who happens to be my mom!) and then the rest of the week is up to us teachers at home. It is an awesome program using the classical model of education and it is Christ-centered! I love it! In the foundations group, which is Pre-K to 6th, the kids learn the grammar of education, which is basically just that they memorize, memorize, memorize. It works because their minds are like little sponges at this point. Then, in 4th we'll add Essentials, which is also called the Dialetic stage, when they can start understanding the many things they've already memorized. Dialetic last through the 8th grade, and then high school is called the rhetoric stage, when they gain wisdom and are allowed and able to share it. It's the biblical method, knowledge, understanding, and wisdom.

How is Eowyn doing? Well, her expectations were different then the true event. And she never does well with routine changes. But she's getting better, the hard work of school is what threw her off. She expected all fun and games!

Ok, I'm off to do some schoolwork! (I know it's a holiday, but Eowyn doesn't!)

The "before"

2010-08-28T09:13:00.003-04:00

It's not pretty people! (Of course, it did look nice at one point, but when I took these pictures I had already started the tearing down, so the room is a mess.) This room is the "master" in our small house. It's the smallest bedroom, about 10x10. When we moved in, our bedroom furniture would not fit in here. We had a long dresser, a chest of drawers, and one nightstand. Plus the bed had a headboard and footboard. This bedroom set was black. Which is not my favorite anyway, so I was ready for something different.

Anyway, when we moved in, we decided to take the larger bedroom for ourselves, and then make this room the office. Jeremy used it for all of his stuff. And the bathroom was also Jeremy's. I used the hall bath. This arrangement worked very nicely until I started having to share my bathroom with two toddlers. When we didn't sell the house very quickly, we decided to stay in here and make it work for us. So thus began our adventure of sorting, and throwing away, and donating, and getting rid of. We had a lot of stuff crammed into this small house, with plans on moving into a bigger place. But I'm glad we did what we did. Most of the stuff was stuff we'd never need.

The (Smallest) Master

2010-08-27T22:47:00.008-04:00

Our bedroom had the biggest redo out of the bedrooms. I knew for the new furniture I wanted two nightstands, somewhat slender, and a chest of drawers. And just a headboard. I wanted the furniture to be dark, but the headboard I wanted to have some kind of natural look. I found this banana leaf, West Elm, headboard on craigslist for $100. I was so excited!!!

The bedding I found on Lands End. It was the whole set, sheets, duvet, shams, on clearance. I think it was $160. Oh, and I had to buy some bedrails. I found those on craigslist for $25.

I also wanted slim nightstands. I knew if there was room in between the wall and the nightstands it would make the room look larger. I wanted them to have one drawer and a shelf underneath. I found these on craigslist, after a lot of searching, for $20 for the PAIR. I had to refinish them, but they were perfect!

I've always wanted a Tiffany lamp. I just love them. So I figured I could finally have two for our bedroom to bring in a bit of color/pop. I couldn't find any on craigslist, so I had to get these two which were a bit smaller than I would have liked, but I put some books under them and they are beautiful.

We took the chairrail down (that I had Jeremy put up three years earlier, talk about complaining!). I wanted the walls to look as tall as possible. Of course, the new smooth ceiling helps with that. I also hung our curtains high and wide, in order to make the window look bigger. The mirror was my mom's. Mom didn't have anywhere to hang it in her house, so I stole it. And the basket for our laundry is from Ikea.

Then we also needed some drawers. We were moving into the same closet, and losing all the drawers from our old furniture (which I sold on craigslist), so we needed some drawers. I wanted a chest and I really wanted it to have legs to stand on, so that there would be space underneath to make the room seem bigger. (The more space there is, the bigger the room.) I found this one on craigslist again, and if you'll remember, it came with a nightstand. The dresser was in beautiful shape, but the nightstand was pretty scratched up. And I didn't need another nightstand anyway. But I took them, tucking it away until I realized I wanted a nightstand for Eowyn's room. Anyway, the pair was $50. I refinished the dresser with the nightstands so they would all match. It's about 50 years old I think, and it's a Bassett, so it's a nice piece.

And these "prints" are pictures I took of my broccoli leaves last year with some raindrops on them! The color perfectly matched my wall color, and the frames are from Ikea.

Our groceries

2010-08-27T15:15:00.003-04:00

We built up the garden this spring. We've got 4 20x4 ft. beds, plus the border beds that are 2 feet wide. We had to pause on our house work in order to get the plants in the ground. Let's see, we've had broccoli, lettuce, onions, beans, peppers, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, squash and zucchini. Then I've also got a couple of blueberry bushes, some strawberry plants, and some herbs. And a really cool gourd plant that will turn into a sponge when it dries out. The picture of the long thing on the bottom is this gourd. We'll see how it turns out!

Gardening this year has been great, although I'm still not producing as much as I want to be. The kids learned a lot though, which was really important to me. They've planted, weeded, picked, cleaned, and eaten. The summer harvest is about to finish up, and we've gotten our seeds ready to plant our fall harvest. I can't wait for the lettuce and broccoli! Those are two of my favorites from the garden.

Here's what the kids look like!

2010-08-24T10:11:00.004-04:00

I'm so glad I finally found all the camera parts! I packed the camera, the battery charger, and the memory card all separate, so it's taken a while to get them all back out. The kids have enjoyed getting the camera attention again, and I'm glad to be able to document their growth again.

That's Gideon! He's getting so big. He'll be two in a couple weeks. He is such a little lover! Still nursing, often, and his vocabulary is growing by the day. We just bought him a CushiTushi toilet seat and he's been trying it out lately. This morning was the first time that he actually peed in the toilet! I was elated. He was a little worried. But he tried to go again a little later, so maybe it didn't freak him out too much. He's so funny, he's a little nervous ninny. At the beginning of the summer, he wouldn't get off the steps of the pool without screaming, even if he was being held. He's gotten a little better, he'll leave the steps by himself now with his arm floaties, but he doesn't really kick his legs and he keeps his mouth shut. It's the funniest thing to watch!

Here they both are, getting along, happy, and smiling. But of course, he had just stepped on her dolls, and it almost turned into a brawl. That happens quite fequently around here. They love each other fiercely. And I mean that! It's gotten more interesting since they have their own rooms. If they're fighting and I tell them to each play by themselves, they don't want to be apart. Go figure. It's funny to watch them fight. Gideon hits, Eowyn pushes. They both wail. Then they move on.

And this is my Eowyn. She loves attention! And being beautiful, a princess, but mostly attention. She just turned 4 this summer. And she's a great kid! I just love her. The way she thinks and uses logic. She's amazing. She'll be starting school next week. We're homeschooling with a group called Classical Conversations. I'll explain more about that later. She's memorized books and "reads" them to Gideon, and she's learning to write. Mostly on her own. I've realized, with her at least, I don't have to push her at all. When she's ready for the next step, she'll take it, but she can't before she's ready. I haven't been teaching her in a formal way all summer, but she's been making cards for everyone and she asks me to write their names on a practice sheet and then she copies it. Not every letter yet, and not always in the right order, but amazing nonetheless.

And now I think they've watched enough TV for the day, so I better turn around and get to work!

Eowyn's Room!

2010-08-17T14:30:00.005-04:00

Eowyn's room was done in two stages. First we did the ceiling and the walls. Then the kids both moved in while we did the living room/kitchen, and Gideon's room. Once we finished Gideon's room, we moved both kids into his room while we finished Eowyn's room. We had it done for her birthday, and she loves it. It really is a pretty room.

It used to be white and blue, and it is the biggest room in our house, so it was Jeremy's and mine. It's not the master though. Our new bedroom has a bathroom attached to it. (I'll explain more about that when I do our bedroom post.)

The bedding I had from my mom's house. She used it in a guest bedroom, but couldn't anymore. I've always loved it (I think I picked it out) and using it for Eowyn's room was fun (and economical). All of her furniture is new (to us).

The bed I got off craigslist for $20 (not the mattress) and painted it white. The night stand actually came with a dresser (that is in my room) off of craigslist again and both were $50. Painted the night stand to match the bed and added a pop of green with the handle.

The lamp we bought at Walmart and then used up the rest of the spray paint bottle on it for some fun.

The dresser was mine when I was a little girl. So again, paint and pops of green.

Karen bought Eowyn's coat hooks at Hobby Lobby. And the "messterpiece" is by Eowyn herself.

The other side of the room holds Eowyn's trunk of toys and her desk for her school supplies. Her desk is amazing.

My mom did this for Eowyn's birthday. It has Eowyn's pictures all over the top. So cute! The desk is actually an endtable that was a friend's. And the chair was at Mom's house, got some of the green paint, and voila! a desk.

We recently had to add a trashcan to Eowyn's room. I cleaned out all of her school supplies and organized everything and found so much trash in there. She's a keeper-of-things.

Her room is still lacking some wall art and curtains. I can't decide how to do the curtains, whether white or green, or something else. I think I want to do another roman shade in there, just so no one decides to swing across the room on the curtains. So I'm still working on that!

Gideon's Room

2010-08-17T13:13:00.005-04:00

Here's some "after" pictures from our remodel! (Finally!) I'm going to post room by room, and we'll see how far I get today. This is Gideon's new room. This room used to be Eowyn's and Gideon's. It was the simplest room to do, and also the last. (Sort of.) It used to be yellow and a lighter green.

We kept the same nursery bedding and just based the colors off of that. We drastically cut the amount of toys in our house so that the kids would only have enough that they could clean up. And it's working. No more toys are kept in the living room, only in their two bedrooms. They've each got a basket (or trunk) and then a few toys that aren't kept in the basket. It's been wonderful!

This is Gideon's coat/hat hanger. I had an Uppercase living expression to put in his room, and I thought it would be cute underneath his jackets, so he'll get a little love everytime he pulls his jacket on.

For Gideon's window treatment, I wanted a roman shade, and something the was lined for the energy efficiency. Those are expensive. So, I bought a black-out panel at Walmart for $17 and (after reading lots of tutorials, and doing lots of thinking and figuring) I made it into a roman shade. It works and everything!

All of this furniture we had, so not much new here. But after months of not using a changing table because it was packed up, Gideon and I were both so excited to use it again. I think he had forgotten about it.

This is an upclose shoot of the ceiling. We scraped all the popcorn off our ceilings and painted them all this ash mist color. It looks white, but the grey undertones really make the ceilings look higher. And it gives the whole house a nice cool tone. Love it!

Gideon's room still has some very blank walls. I have pictures and frames, but I need to get mats and then, of course, hang them on the wall. But that's it in his room!

How do I respond?

2010-05-29T19:46:00.003-04:00

This weekend we were supposed to go to see Jeremy's family. I hate that this miscarriage messed that trip up, not really just for the visit but because I really wanted to keep my baby. I would much rather be down in GA, happily announcing the good news that a new baby is on the way. But it did happen, and we stayed here. I'm glad we already had this time carved out to stay home at least. I've been able to mourn as the time calls for it.

I haven't quite figured out how to respond to this heartache. At least to other people. I don't know how to talk about my lost little one without crying out. And I don't want sympathy; sympathy feels like someone petting the hurt. But on the other hand, I don't want to act like this didn't happen, that I never had or wanted this little one. I also understand that this happened so quickly that everyone else, including my husband, is having a hard time feeling like it was a loss. I do think I'm having an easier time than if the baby had been older. But part of me would really like to be able to at least put my baby in a grave, to get to hold her once, but I have nothing. So many people have told me and my husband that they lost a baby in miscarriage too. So I know this isn't something I'll ever forget. I'll always know there was supposed to be one more.

I've really felt the presense of God throughout this weekend. It is Him who gives me hope. I know He weeps with me. He probably hurts more than I do. I'm so glad that if I can't hold her, He does. I'm not angry with Him. My midwife told me this was God's plan. But I don't believe that. If there was a God who planned to take babies away from their mothers, I would not serve Him. I believe the only God planned, choose, death only once, and that was His own Son's so that we may yet have life. Death is the consquence of sin. We, humanity, are the ones who choose death. So every baby that is lost, every child, every person, is our fault. Is sin's fault. "BUT GOD" (I love the verses that begin with those two words) decided to give us another chance. To make resurrection possible. Because HE IS life, the only life. Sin is death. I choose Him because He makes my heart beat, and will make my baby's heart beat again.

A walk through the garden

2010-05-28T06:52:00.005-04:00

Our God is so good. Even though I'm losing this baby, this baby I want and I love, but who is too tiny for me to find, Jesus will find her. He will take care of her until one day giving her back to me. I hate death. It pervades us, and haunts us. There will forever be an empty place in our family where this little baby was supposed to be. She was already so loved and we were so excited to be getting her. Even though we only had a week to know about her. I hate thinking about losing her and having to leave her in the trash or sewer. She's too tiny, I can't find her. Jesus, help.

And this morning!

2010-03-04T09:43:00.002-05:00

And then Wednesday....

2010-03-04T09:39:00.002-05:00

Monday the house looked like....

2010-03-04T09:24:00.004-05:00

Here's where I am

2010-02-24T23:43:00.003-05:00

Need I say more??? I'm starting to think I'm a little crazy, but it's almost done! Sort of. We've been working on this since November (? maybe December?) and we've gotten the bathrooms both done, the master bedroom done, and Eowyn's room is mostly done. Gideon's room is being used for storage. Hopefully soon, I'll be able to start posting done pictures! Jeremy has this weekend off so we're going to get a lot done. Woohoo!

Early Christmas Surprise

2009-12-03T23:30:00.002-05:00

We have a new baby in our family! Josephine, Josie, joined our famliy as an early surprise from Santa this morning. The kids were excited, although also cautious. Especially Gideon, once Josie started nipping at him, he tried to put her back in the box! By the end of the day, he was proud of having her, but he still doesn't like her to get too close. Eowyn figured out pretty quickly that if she held the puppy, the puppy wouldn't move very much. It's so funny watching the pup tolerate Eowyn's care. But other than that, Eowyn has taken on the responsibility wonderfully! I've been so proud of her.

Cinderella and her dog Scooby

2009-11-06T17:20:00.002-05:00

All we do for Halloween is go up to the Veatch farm. The kids are the only trick-or-treaters there and those two houses load them down with enough candy for a month! (Unless Mama and Daddy get their hands on it!)
Eowyn claimed she wanted to be a "happy witch" for Halloween, but the store was sold out by the time we went shopping. So she was fabulously pleased with a beautiful Cinderella gown. And Gideon did really well with the Scooby costume. He looked really cute, and seemed to enjoy it. Here's some pictures of our night!

Gideon's haircut

2009-10-02T08:55:00.003-04:00

A couple of weeks ago I finally broke down and cut Gideon's beautiful hair. It was getting in his eyes, as you can see. This was also my first time cutting a boy's hair so it's not perfect, but I'll get better with practice I'm sure. Gideon did pretty good, although several snips were done too quickly. Oh well, here's the photos of the event!

Summer's end

2009-09-10T14:18:00.002-04:00

With the amazing weather that started September, I was grateful for the end of the summer. Plus, Eowyn and I got to start homeschooling! I'm so excited. And she's so smart. My friend Jenny clued me into a really fun website, called Hubbard's Cupboard, that has some great lesson plans. We've started learning the Bible chronologically, starting with creation of course. For each day of creation she also learns the number and a color or two. When we get to Adam she'll start learning letters too.

The beginning of September also meant it's been a year since Gideon was born. (And, consquently, the beginning of this blog.) It's been a long, wonderful year. Gideon is finally sleeping through the night and in his own bed. It took some tough loving one night, but he's been great ever since. He's also walking and trying to run like a pro. So cute! I love it. I got him some shoes a couple weeks ago, and he just looks like a big boy. And he is! At his appointment on Tuesday, he weighed 24 lbs and 13 oz. He is less than 4 lbs from weighing as much as his sister! And he's 31 inches tall. He's such a sweetie, and he loves him some lovin'! He loves Eowyn and is always trying to snuggle with her, much to her dislike. He wants to play whatever she's playing and this causes many fights. And yes, he fights just as well as he loves. Gideon had two family parties this year. The Veatch side came over one night to have dinner and cake, and then the Allen side came up on his birthday. We had dinner, and cake again, and went to play putt-putt. Gideon really likes games, and does pretty well at putt-putt, although he doesn't use the golf club. He knows the ball has to go in the hole, so he goes from hole to hole, throwing and then placing the ball in the hole.

By the end of summer I'm always ready to get back into a schedule of some sorts. We had a great summer, but I'm glad for the cooler fall weather and the inspiration the weather brings!

Summer times

2009-07-09T21:41:00.006-04:00

I am here! Just enjoying the summer with my family. Here's some pictures to parapharse the summer so far!

Eowyn turned 3! She had a fun little family party. I can't believe she's 3 already. Eowyn is such a smart kid and turning into a real sweetie. I love her. When I put her to bed on her birthday, I asked her if she had a good birthday. She told me "yea, but tomorrow I can be your baby again. Today I was a big girl, but tomorrow I can be your baby again." My heart melted!

Visiting our college for our 5 year reunion.

The kids have started playing well together. I don't know if you can see it or not, but E put one of her hair clips in G's hair. Ha!

Gideon loves his baths, and running around naked.

Eowyn's short haircut, and she's begun dressing herself.

Our hike up to a waterfall in Pigeon Forge.

In Ripley's Aquarium in Pigeon Forge.

Gideon and Daddy with the shark teeth.

Daddy and Eowyn looking at horseshoe crabs.

Just a picture of E that I like.

Peace amidst Chaos

2009-06-01T21:05:00.003-04:00

We are still in Pigeon Forge, and I will post more about this trip later with pictures, but I wanted to share, and document, something that happened today. I don't know if you've ever been to Gatlinburg, but walking down the main stretch is overwhelming and over-stimulating. People are pushing, crowding, yelling, selling, and so much more. The store shops are all harshly colored, and lighted, competing for the buyers attention. Cars are passing by, just adding to the feeling of danger and chaos. Trying to get around today with the big, ol', honkin' double-stroller and two kids who weren't thrilled to be riding for sooo long hurt my soul. And from what I understand, this isn't the peak season. While we were walking back to the car, out of pure frustration and exhaustion, I noticed a sign for a church. The church was behind all the chaos, couldn't be seen from the road, and up a hill that literally seemed to go straight up.

The sign looked old, and being a lover of history, especially anything that has to do with Him, I told Jeremy, "let's go up and see." We climbed, struggling for air, pushing the very heavy stroller, up the steep hill. As we climbed, the noise, smells, and sights of the chaotic street below dimmed. And then we reached the top. There was peace, everything else was gone. The grounds around the church were full of beautiful flowers, small trees, and big rocks. The church itself was a lovely, stone building nestled among all the gardens and trees, and built into a crevice on the side of the mountain. We were only standing there, basking in the peace, when a man showed up. He had a friendly smile, asked if we were alright, and checked the mail of the place. Jeremy asked if the sanctuary was open. This man told us to keep going up the hill, around the church and he would meet us at the doors. We climbed again, came to the top, and entered a place Jesus must love to visit. The sanctuary was beautiful in its simplicity. The pews were hand-crafted, as were the rafters. People worked and sweated to build this place of God. And there was peace. Ahh, what a gift.

I didn't want to walk back down, down into the chaos, but I did. And it was the same. But I felt the distinction this time.

Going Green

2009-05-22T23:52:00.003-04:00

My newest kick is to go greener, along with the rest of the world, I know. But I've been trying, for a while now actually, to live more naturally, be less dependent on the world at large. So we've attempted gardens for the past few years, this year we really expanded and actually planted things we eat. (Usually, we plant around 8 tomato plants, and Jeremy is the only one who eats them, so they mostly just go bad out in the yard. Doesn't make any sense does it?) Anywho, my little story for tonight is what we tried to do today. Along with growing our food in the yard, and using goat milk soap, and baking soda, and what not, I want our diet to be more natural, less processed. So we decided, meaning I, to try an avocado. Eowyn and I picked out one at Walmart today, and then when we got home, we sat down to try it. I cut it open properly, and there's the big, round seed (or nut, I'm not really sure what it's called).

Eowyn promptly said "Oh, it's got poop."

So then we went back to eating our highly-processed, not at all good-for-you cookies that we also bought at Walmart today.

Just today...

2009-05-18T13:07:00.002-04:00

Today Eowyn and I have cleaned most of the house. It was a mess! I haven't had any energy because Gideon has been a horrible sleeper all week. He's been getting me up soo many times each night that I have been waking up in the morning still tired. Not fun. I don't know why he's doing this, at first it was because of his two new teeth but those are in now. I seem to vaguely remember Eowyn doing something like this around the same time, and she was always a great sleeper, still is. Anyway, it's been so bad that I've even gotten Jeremy up a couple nights to take care of the crier. But only when I've reached the end of my rope.

So even though I don't have any energy, today I couldn't take the house being such a mess again. And plus it's not like I get to rest even when I am this tired. Right now, I'm hoping the kids are gonna take a nap together. I'm waiting on their sheets to dry and letting them work off some of the energy from lunch. Gideon has not taken a nap, so things are looking good.

We're planning on going on vacation with Jeremy's parents in a couple weeks. I can't wait to spend some quality time with my family! Plus it's a good excuse to lose some weight and do some shopping. We'll be up in the mountains, near Pigeon Forge.

Gideon, along with his two top teeth, is learning the word "no." Not very well. It's so funny when I pop his little hand. His face is in shock! I have a hard time not laughing when I do it. Kids are so fun.

Just venting

2009-05-09T13:15:00.004-04:00

This isn't an update, it's just a chance for me to vent.

I get really tired of being the "single" mom. I'm not single, and I have a husband, and we did things in the correct order, so I shouldn't feel like this, but I do. And it's not because Jeremy is a horrible husband/father, he's wonderful. (Ok, that might be a bit strong of a word, but he is a wonderful dad and he's just the right man for me.) The problem is his job. He works sooo much and so hard. He doesn't have a normal schedule, and works all weekend, except for Sunday. So a LOT of times I go places, to functions and what not, by myself with the kids. And I feel like the single mom.

I shouldn't be complaining. I'm thankful he has a job, and that he takes such good care of us, and I'm thankful he doesn't have to work on Sundays and that during the week he gets one day off. And I'm also thankful that he doesn't have to go into work until 9:30 because I like to sleep in. (I would still love for him to have an 8 to 5 job though.) I have a lot to be thankful for. I guess I can't have everything.

Today the store had a big sale with lots of outside activities. So I loaded up the kids and we went to hang out with Daddy for a bit. When we got there, Jeremy was in the middle of a safe sale with a customer so we just wandered around looking at everything. We saw some friends of ours from church who have a son Eowyn's age. Eowyn and Joshua wanted to play together so we ended up following their family around for a little bit. This is what brought this post on. Jeremy did eventually finish and we had a nice time together. It won't last forever, it won't last forever.

Thanks for listening.

Up-dating!

2009-05-08T13:21:00.003-04:00

(I just realized I title most of my blogs "up-date" because I'm so bad about keeping this thing up to date!)

The past few weeks have been busy ones! What week isn't busy, really? Almost two weeks ago, we finally had Gideon dedicated. It was a wonderful service. I really love our pastor and our church, and I know everyone says that, but this is the first pastor and church that I've actually felt pastored and in a community. Anywho, it was also the weekend that Jeremy's parents came up for a visit. We had a good visit with them. Eowyn loves when they come, she gets so much attention. Here's some pictures from the dedication:

Don't you just love that last one? My kids really DO love each other! (Sometimes it's questionable.)

Life has gotten a little easier now that Gideon is mobile. I mean, harder and easier at the same time. On the one hand, he can get around and get into everything now so I've had to start introducing the new vocabulary word "no!" into his little mind. He doesn't like it. His other 2 vocabulary words are "Gideon" and "nursing." (He loves the last word!) Still no talking, he thinks it's a joke when I say "mama." Karen calls him Mogli when he's crawling on hard floors or grass, because he walks on all fours, rather than on his knees. It's really cute. Life is a little easier because he's happier on the floor and will stay out of my arms for longer periods of time. We still struggle with sleeping though. It is sooo hard to get him to go down at night, and to stay down. He would much rather sleep on me, but that's just not comfortable. It won't last forever, it won't last forever.

The kids are about 5 pounds apart now. I keep telling Eowyn that pretty soon, she'll hit him one last time and then he'll take her down. Hehe. He's already starting to realize his own strength and he'll wrestle with her over her nuk. I don't know why he wants it, he refuses to take his own. Eowyn's third birthday is coming up. I can't believe she'll be 3! I'm starting to think about what we'll be doing this year as far as schooling goes. She won't start officially homeschooling until next year when she's 4, but I do want to set up some ground work this year. Help get her used to the idea of school. I think we're going to do Classical Conversations, which is an awesome home-school group. I want to get one started around here. If you're homeschooling, you should look it up.

Tonight we have front porch at church if anyone wants to come. We always have a good time. I'm just hoping that Jeremy will get off work early enough to come.

He Moves!

2009-04-17T22:26:00.004-04:00

Gideon started crawling tonight! He's so proud, and I'm gonna have to start vaccumming a LOT more! In the second video, you can really see him get going. It's starting to get interesting with him!

My growing kids

2009-04-15T11:06:00.005-04:00

Gideon is almost crawling! He is already pulling himself up to standing, sitting up from his tummy, and generally moving around. He's only getting into position to crawl, so it'll happen anyday now. I told Jeremy the other day, when it does happen we'll wonder why we were so anxious for it. (And I promise, my kids do get dressed!) He's still doing well eating his solids, but I think he has a short gag reflex, which makes it hard for him to deal with textures. Or he might just have a small mouth, like his Daddy. He wears me out though. He pretty much refuses to be happy anywhere but in my arms. There are times when Eowyn can distract him, but most of the time, if he's on the floor he's fussing. He weighs so much, he's wearing size 4 diapers and he can wear up to size 12-18 month clothes! Eowyn didn't start wearing size 4 diapers until right after HE was born! We're finally planning his dedication on the 26th of this month. I haven't been able to find an outfit I like, so we're late in doing this but oh well.

Eowyn is growing too. She's outgrown all her shoes and is starting to wear 3Ts. I can't believe she'll be 3 in July. She's so smart, and the bully thing at church is finally stopping. It's not every Sunday now, just every once in a while. She hasn't worn a diaper in several weeks, unless we're out in Charlotte shopping. Even then, she remembers most of the time. I'm soo glad too. I love not having to change two diapers at a time! She's been behaving very well too, although she and her brother get into fights. I'm glad that Gideon is starting to stand up for himself. He really lets her know when he doesn't like something.

Here's one last picture. I took this the other day, and they are both in Eowyn's bed just like a picture I took a few months ago. See how they've grown!

A busy couple of weeks!

2009-04-13T13:50:00.005-04:00

I have been soo busy the last few weeks, but today finally we are home, and in our pjs all day long if we want! It's been fun though. The yard sale was a great success. Mom and I had a great time, and have sworn never to do it again, again. The house feels much better though, I have closet space again and it's easier to keep everything clean. After the yard sale, our good friends came down for a visit. Aaron was Jeremy's roommate in college, and Liz, his wife, and I became good friends through them. So we felt like we were in college again all week but this time there were 3 little ones tagging along. They brought their two year old, Lael. She and Eowyn loved each other and had so much fun together. They are 5 months apart and look a lot alike, or at least they were hard to distinguish when they were running through the house together.

This was one of the very few times we got them to stand still for a moment so we could get a picture. It still didn't work out so well.

Then we celebrated Easter. It was a beautiful weekend. Our church had many services to honor and celebrate the Holy Week, and though we weren't able to attend all, the ones we did were awesome. Here's our annual Easter family picture:

Just kidding! Although this one is really cute, this is the keeper:And here's just the kids, so cute!

Yard Sale!

2009-04-03T13:19:00.002-04:00

We're having a HUGE yard sale tomorrow! I need to clean out the house! It starts at 7 am tomorrow at Shepherd's Chapel in Alb. next to the YMCA. Lots of families are participating and we'll have lots of big items: furniture, a motorcycle, a 4-wheeler, lots of clothes, household items and decorations, prom dresses, Creative Memories items, books, and much, much more! Come and shop 'til to you drop!

Pictures!

2009-03-27T11:57:00.003-04:00

Here's the promised pictures!

Eowyn loves to hold Gideon, but he's a little too big for her. Still not bigger than her, but closing the gap. And Eowyn has been doing a little growing here lately too. She's getting so tall!

He didn't like the rice cereal, but who does really? Now he's really enjoying bananas, apples, oatmeal, peaches, and pears. I need to start some vegetables.

And here's just a sweet smile from my sweet boy!

I need to blog...

2009-03-05T22:29:00.002-05:00

in order to keep my blog updated, but I don't have any pictures, and I'm too lazy to get them off the camera right now. So this post is just a fill-you-in-on-the-happenings-blog. I do have some cute pictures I want to post though!

So anyway....I painted the kitchen wall, and I love it! I really need to have a yardsale, I want to de-junk the house again. Most of the time I feel like I am in a perpetual battle against the forces of evil that are trying to overtake my home. I guess it's time to spring clean again. Why is it that the house doesn't STAY clean after being cleaned? I just don't understand it. But then, I guess it's my fault I didn't make the bed this morning. Anywho...I also started teaching Sunday school at church. I really enjoy teaching, and I love the learning I have to do to teach. It's only for a few weeks to give my dad a break, so that makes it even better!

Gideon turned 6 months old today. Such a cutie and soo sweet. I just love him. He had to go to the doctor today and get his shots. Poor thing, he turned purple he was so mad! Then he slept all afternoon. I also started him on rice cereal this week. But he's still not quite ready. I just wanted a little more freedom, you know? I haven't done anything with this so-called "freedom," which really means it just takes longer to get through meals because now I have to spoon feed someone. (And pump some milk beforehand, or as Jeremy puts it, milk myself.) I just love nursing and it's so much easier than anything else. Especially with all the baby foods, ugh..anyway. He of course thought the rice cereal was disgusting. But the funniest part was when Eowyn decided to try it because she wanted to be a baby too. It made her shiver, it was so nasty! Then she refused to eat anymore. So funny. I'll put some pictures up soon.

My good friend Jenny told me after Gideon was born to give it 6 months. Around 6 months life would start to feel normal with 2. She has two boys and a third baby on the way. She was right. In the past few weeks, I have started feeling normal again. Like I can enjoy mothering two kids and can go to Walmart with them again. The house is not such an impossible task, I can cook dinner, and I just feel normal again. It's wonderful. Jeremy is of course thrilled too. I hope #3 is easier than #2, but I think any baby is hard at first. Maybe with #3, I'll just be used to and expecting the difficulties. Then it won't seem so hard!

Bad night, good husband!

2009-02-13T13:50:00.003-05:00

Eowyn's fever broke after about 24 hours, and her nose started running, yuck. But last night around 9 Gideon started getting hot. So now he's got the bug, whatever it is. I'm hoping it will be over tonight, but I'm really dreading the runny nose on Gideon. It means more coughing, more choking, less sleep. Anyway, last night between the hours of 2:30 and 8 am Eowyn got me up 4 times, and Gideon 10-15. He was too hot to sleep with me, so that wasn't comfortable for him, too hot to nurse, and apperently too hot to sleep in his own bed. My husband was wonderful this morning though. After he got up and ready to go to work, I begged him to go in just an hour late in order to let me sleep while he kept the kids. (He and Eowyn usually get up together, while Gideon and I sleep a little later.) He did! He took Gideon, and somehow got him to go to sleep, put a movie on for Eowyn, and even cleaned up the kitchen. I'm so thankful he did all that. His parents are coming to visit tonight, and after last night I'm not in the mood to clean, but he helped out so much. Gideon is still pretty miserable, I'll be glad when this bug is behind us!

Just chatting...

2009-02-11T16:03:00.003-05:00

Gideon turned five months old the other day. I can't believe how big he's getting, he already hangs off my lap when he's nursing. He sits up so well, but is still not rolling over. Mostly because he hates lying on the floor. I think he feels vulnerable with his big sister tramping around. So now I'm wondering if he will be one of those babies who scoots around on his bottom. He's also getting interested in food. I don't think he's ready, and may not be for another month or more, but he's definitely watching us. When he's offered something, he doesn't want it though. I don't know if I'll be more relaxed with his eating or not. I was terrified with Eowyn because Jeremy has such horrible allergies, but she doesn't have any. So far things like peanut butter through my milk haven't bothered Gideon, so maybe he'll be the same. Those pictures are of him sleeping in our bed in the morning. I just love baby feet!

I just love Eowyn. I see so much of me in her. Last night she woke us up because the "alligators" were going to get her. Turned out she also had a very high fever. We were worried because her heartrate was also very high, she was panting, and kind of acting like she was on caffefine. So we called the nurse on call, gave her some tylenol, and went back to bed. Eowyn was thrilled. She can barely contain herself to keep acting sick. She's only been sick a few times, and for some reason loves taking medicine, so she was very excited to be allowed to take medicine, and to get the attention we gave her. Today, Nonnie came over to see the sick baby, and Eowyn couldn't even pretend. Of course her fever was, and still is, raging so we know she's sick, but she's not acting like it. I've been keeping her still by putting on movies today and trying to keep her resting. I say all this because this is exactly how I feel when I get really sick. It never happens, so when it does I'm always thrilled because I get some attention and all that. (the medicine, I could leave.) I honestly can't remember the last time I was sick. I threw up once with each pregnancy and then there was the incident with the para-sailing. Otherwise, I'm as healthy as a horse and so is Eowyn, except for today. If you think about, pray that God brings the fever down when the virus (or whatever is causing it) goes away. And also that Gideon doesn't get whatever Eowyn has.

Oh, and here's another interesting God-thing: I just bought Gideon the first box of diapers that we had to buy (we were given so many!) the same week that Eowyn started wearing panties around the house. Isn't that cool?

The Next Project

2009-01-30T15:41:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I'm ready to re-do my kitchen. When we moved in I tried to decorate kind of Tuscan style, with the green wall and random bunches of grapes in corners. But the rest of the house is moving away from that type of style, especially the living room, which is attached to the kitchen. (By the way, I have white slipcovered furniture in the living room, which I LOVE because I can change the whole appearance of the room with just new curtains and pillows, which I did recently.) So I'm thinking I'll paint the kitchen wall a warm brown or a nice blue. I'll probably go with the brown, and bring in blue highlights, which is how the living room is now. I also want to put down some new flooring, like the bathrooms. We're probably going to need a new kitchen table in the next year or so just because it now only seats us, no company. Over the stove I'm trying to decide if I want to put an uppercase living expression (which is basically stickers on the wall, as Jeremy puts it) or some kind of blue tile. Anyway, here's the before pictures. It will probably be a while before I get the after pictures, but since it is in my mind now, maybe not too many weeks. I was playing around with the panarama view thing, and you'll have to excuse the mess. Life goes on...

Treading on Thin Ice

2009-01-18T20:29:00.004-05:00

The responsibility of parenthood is paramount (Understatement, right?) The other day, Eowyn noticed a movie I thought she wasn't watching on TV. (I know) In the movie, a teenage girl was kidnapped by Indians to be sold into slavery. Eowyn noticed the movie on a part when the girl was being hit by the bad guys. She told me that "the girl needed her Daddy to come get her." Oh it's so true! That girl needed her Daddy to come in, kill the bad guys, and rescue her. But she's not the only one. How can I explain to Eowyn that we all need our Daddy to come in and rescue us? And He did! I'm not stressed about this, but it is apparent to me that we are now on thin ice. One wrong move, and it could be detrimental to Eowyn. I'm not stressed because it seems to me that God is, in His Own Way, introducing His Self to Eowyn. I have tried to avoid the pat-Christianity that we usually give our children. (I mean no offence, it is what I grew up on, and it didn't work so well for me.) The only reason she knows "Jesus Loves Me" is from the church nursery. And I don't mean there is anything wrong with that song, it's true, but it doesn't answer the longing in our hearts and it really only seems to simplify and over-emphasize that Truth. By the time children are five, that song is so ingrained that it's boring. And the Truth is obsolete. So, I explain all this not because I want to offend anyone, or cause controversy, this is just the way I see it and also why I feel such responsibility. Moving past the disclaimer: Eowyn also calls Prince Charming, and any of the other princes, the Daddy. Which is awesome to me! The Daddy is the Prince! You see what I mean? God introduces His Self. The responsibility of allowing God to do the introductions through us as her parents is huge. Thankfully, Eowyn has a wonderful Daddy who is teaching her that Daddy's do rescue, help, and can fix everything. Who dance, teach, play, and adventure. I remember when Jeremy and I were dating, I felt that Jesus was wooing me through Jeremy. Now God is introducing His Self through Jeremy to Eowyn. My only worry is when we fail, and I know we will, how do we say we're sorry but look at the One who won't fail you? Or can we somehow separate Him from us before that happens so it won't be like He's failing her when we do? How do we explain who HE is? We can't in words because she doesn't have the vocabulary. I will trust Him to continue revealing His Self, and stand back to watch. His love stories are always the best, and I'm really enjoying watching His love story with my daughter unfold.

The many uses of hair straighteners

2009-01-16T23:41:00.003-05:00

I love the ingenuity of motherhood! This morning, in the rush to get both kids ready for a day of shopping in Concord, I realized the shirt I picked out for Gideon had a wrinkled collar (mostly because I didn't fluff it straight out of the dryer, you know what I mean.) I, of course, did not have time to get the iron out, or my usual "ironing", put it in the dryer with a wet washcloth for 10 minutes, so I grabbed my hair straightener. It was on because I'd just been using it. It worked great! It straightened out the collar, and even gave it a nice wave when I twisted it just right (he, he). I'm going to remember that one!

Whew!

2009-01-13T22:21:00.002-05:00

I don't know what I'm trying to do to myself. I'm in over my head. Well, not really anymore, although I still feel that way. Ok, here it goes....After Christmas, my mom's brother, Uncle Gary, came up for a visit. He offered to put down new linoleum in our bathrooms, very generous I know!, something I've been wanting for quite a while. We have two bathrooms, and the floor was awful. So that weekend after Christmas, Jeremy took the toilet out of his bathroom. Uncle Gary put in the new floor on Friday. Since he had to take down the door, and the toilet was out of the way, I decided to repaint the bathroom. We've been talking about it for a while, and he really needed a new shower curtain. So off to Lowes. We choose a nice burgundy (with a tan shower curtain), which of course took 4 coats. Saturday and Sunday I painted. Crazy, I know. Didn't I realize I have two children, a two year old and an infant? And the infant likes to nurse, a lot, and was sick. And let's not forget...well, let me finish this part and then you'll see my craziness completely. Finished painting, Jeremy replaced the toilet, and took out the toilet in my bathroom. Monday, Uncle Gary did my bathroom floor. By the way, the bathrooms look awesome! I love the new floors, and we only paid around $60! (Plus around $40 to remodel Jeremy's bathroom.) I've decided the worst room to remodel is the bathroom, although I think the kitchen would be horrible too. Anyway, the bathrooms are still not put back together completely. And let me explain why. Gary asked us to stay off my bathroom floor for a week, to let it dry completely. Thankfully, we had already planned a trip down to GA and AL on New Year's. So Thursday we headed down to AL to visit Jeremy's grandparents, and Friday over to GA to stay with his parents until Sunday. It was a good trip, we had a great time visiting everyone. But this is an example of my craziness. Do you know how hard it is to pack when nothing in your house is where it's supposed to be? Not to mention all the Christmas decorations and gifts that had not been put away yet. Got back Sunday night, then Jeremy left on a business trip Wednesday and the kids and I went out to the farm to stay while he was gone. We all came home on Sunday. So yesterday was the first day we began trying to get back to normal. The house is still a disaster area, mostly because I can't find one screw. Too long to explain. But I've decided not to stress, just to do what I can, each day. And I am making head way.

Goodness that was long, and I haven't gotten all of our news out yet. Gideon turned 4 months on the 5th and we went to the doctor. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but he still had that bad cold when we went. (I'd taken him a week before, but there wasn't anything they could do.) He had two ear infections, and still a lot of fluid but Dr. Coats said we could wait a little while longer before going to antibiotics. I'm glad, I really have trouble trusting drugs. For four weeks, he had this cold. It was awful. He had the worst time at night, choking on the fluids. I wasn't getting enough sleep, and what sleep I did get was with him, which is never good. Anyway, we have no worries about his eating habits though, he weighed 17 lbs, 14 oz. He's huge. And so lovable. And now that the fluid is finally gone, thank you Jesus for keeping him, Gideon is back to sleeping through the night. He's even been going to sleep at 10!

I'm finally getting Eowyn to start peeing on the toilet. I've made her run around the house naked, and it's working. She can't have any kind of clothing on though. I figure, we'll work up to that. The only accidents she's had have been when she was wearing something. So the heat is turned up and she's naked. I'm so excited.

I'm sure there was something else I had to share, but now I don't remember. This is enough for now, I'm sure "all" my readers are bored anyway!

Santa Came! (Chapter 2)

2008-12-30T11:42:00.002-05:00

Santa came to our house! (Gideon just went down for a nap, so I think I'll be able to get this post done too!) Eowyn got a new bike! It was so much fun. Eowyn was so excited, everything she opened was her "new...". We loved it. Gideon was excited too, but only because Eowyn was. We had a wonderful morning. The night before we read the Christmas story and set out Santa's snack. Eowyn tried to sneak one of his cookies. The next morning I caught her checking to see if Santa had eaten his snack. (Either because she wanted to see if he had come, or if he had left some because she took the cookie with the bite in it and ate it!) We just had so much fun. We slept in, I don't know how many more Christmases we'll get to do that, and then spent the morning playing and opening gifts. We went out to the Veatch farm for brunch and then opened the gifts out there. The whole day was just so nice and relaxing and fun. Gideon got a couple toys of his own and Eowyn got some clothes for her baby and a music stereo thing. They both got some outfits to wear. Eowyn was thrilled with her new clothes too. I loved it. Anyway, here's some pictures of our Christmas. I don't have any pictures from the Veatch farm Christmas, but the kids got a double jogging stroller! We've used it once so far and it is so nice. It's so great to be able to go out walking. We had a blast out at the farm too. Eowyn loves opening presents, and Gideon really likes practicing with his hands and watching Eowyn.

Christmas! (Chapter 1)

2008-12-30T11:03:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I've gotten a little behind, so I'm going to go ahead and describe the month of December and then my next post will be Christmas day. I have plenty of excuses, we've all been sick, except for Jeremy. I had a cold, then Gideon got the cold, then Eowyn, then I got it again. Gideon's cough has been so awful. He's been sleeping with me for two weeks now because his coughing gets so bad at night. So I haven't been getting very good sleep. I took him to the doctor, but there's nothing they can do that we aren't already doing. But he does already weigh 17 lbs. We finally finished decorating the house, in the middle of December. Eowyn really loved all the Christmas lights outside. While driving down the road, she would scream "there's some!" It was fun.

Mimi and Pepaw (Jeremy's parents) came up the weekend before Christmas. We had a great visit with them and Eowyn really loves the rocking horse they brought her. She was even showing it off to her little friend Joshua last night. They also bought us all Alabama shirts. Go Bama! Or roll tide, or whatever...lol.

Then Christmas Eve Jeremy and I and Gideon played in the children's Christmas play. Since I had the youngest baby in the church, although not the smallest, we were Mary and Joseph. And Jesus, a bouncing baby boy. It was funny, and I'm thinking about sending out this picture as our Christmas card next year.

Here's one last picture. Gideon is wearing the same outfit Eowyn wore on her first Christmas. I'm going to try to find a picture of her in it, just to compare. It was a little small on him actually. He's already wearing 9 month size. More later!

Proud of Jeremy

2008-12-17T00:26:00.006-05:00

So this might be a little disgusting for some of you, but I figured Jeremy's family might like to hear and see the good news. Jeremy killed his buck for the year. (Thankfully he usually only kills one per year.) He's so happy and proud, it was a 6 point around 120 lbs. He kept the horns, but sent the rest of the deer to the processing plant. So we'll have plenty of meat. I really try to get enthusiastic for him, but it's hard. I grew up watching Bambi. He had some of the meat made into sausage. cube steaks. and a roast, so if anyone has some good recipes that hide the taste of wild game, let me know. Eowyn said she wanted to go kill a deer too. She doesn't really understand what that means, but she knows how excited Jeremy gets. She's such a Daddy's girl. Jeremy was really excited because he felt like he really hunted it. And he made a great shot. Anyway, it's a much better, albeit less funny, story compared to last year's.

Tagged!

2008-12-11T10:39:00.004-05:00

1. Egg nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot Chocolate, with ice cream!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? He sits them under the tree with name tags

3. Colored lights or white? Oh the dilemma, I like white, Jeremy likes colored, so we have both. I keep hoping the colored lights will quit working.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? I need to, but I'm not sure where mine is.

5. When do you put your decorations up? We start the weekend after Thanksgiving, but it's now the 11th and we still have not finished. Ugh.

6. Favorite holiday dish? I love english peas and mashed potatoes, and pretty much everything else.

7. Favorite childhood memory? sneaking down to "make sure" Santa came.

8. When/how did you learn the truth about Santa? What do you mean?

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Usually our Christmas pj's, but I was so excited about E and G having matching pj's I already put them on the kids, oops. So now, I don't know what I'll do.

10. How do you decorate the tree? Jeremy stands it up, and hangs the lights. Then we all pull out the ornaments and listen to Alabama Christmas.

11. Snow. Love it or dread it? It's not my favorite, but if no one has to go anywhere, I'm fine. People shouldn't have to drive in the snow.

12. Can you ice skate? Not even a little bit.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? There have been so many...one year I asked Santa for a doll, not Mom and Dad. Santa got it for me, then my Mom gave me a scarf that I love a few years ago.

14. What is the most important thing about the holidays to you? The atmosphere of celebration, in our homes, at church, and in all the stores. Some might not understand what they are celebrating, but they join in anyway.

15. Favorite holiday dessert? Oh goodness, cookies are always my very favorite, but I love anything sweet.

16. Favorite Christmas Tradition? I love the new traditions that we are trying to make in our relatively young home, like reading the Christmas story and Twas a night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve, eating monkey bread for breakfast on Christmas Day, spending time with both our families. It's all so much fun.

17. What tops your tree? A star, a cheap one we bought our first year as a married couple. It doesn't light up or anything, but we think it's beautiful.

18. Do you prefer giving or receiving? I love both. I really love giving gifts to my kids. Last year Eowyn loved each and every gift so much it took her an hour and a half to open them all. (And it wasn't very many!) I love receiving a gift that shows me someone knows me. And I absolutely love surprises, so much so that I never can stand it.

19. Favorite Christmas song? I absolutely have to have Alabama Christmas played at least 30 times during the Christmas season.

20. Candy canes. Yum or yuck? Not my fav, although if I'm pregnant I really love spearamints.

21. What do you want for Christmas? Clothes! And some new make-up.

22. Do you attend an annual Christmas party? We did this year, my dad's office party.

23. Do you dress up for Christmas Eve or wear P.J.'s? Well this year, at church, I have to dress up like Mary because I have the youngest baby in the church.

24. Do you own a Santa hat? Yep! A baby one, and this year a new one for Eowyn to wear.

25. Who do you normally spend Christmas with? Our families.

I'll tag Naomi, Carrie, and Crystal. Have fun!

2008-12-06T11:37:00.002-05:00

This week has been a busy one! Wednesday on our shopping trip, we visited Santa. Eowyn was nervous at first, but eventually she sat down in his lap and we got a good picture. It cost way too much, and the Santa was a little creepy looking, but oh well. We didn't get much shopping done, even though we were there for several hours. Gideon just would not cooperate, so most of the time I was sitting on a bench, nursing. I should have just relaxed and sat there for a long while and let him get into a good sleep, but he never did. So we gave up. Jeremy went back out after we got back because he wanted to say he got something done for the day.
Last night was Front Porch at church. It was a lot of fun, but soo cold! Gideon was not pleased. He's changing so much. A few weeks ago he loved wearing his snowsuit because he was warm and snuggled in. Now, he doesn't love it so much because he can't move around in it. When we got home, I threw them both in the tub to get the smell of smoke off. He loves bath time! Eowyn splashes and makes him laugh. So cute!
I'm excited about tonight because Karen is coming over to babysit, while Jeremy and I go to a party. Karen is soo much help. Yesterday I wouldn't have gotten everything on my list done without her help. And the kids both love her, of course. On the way home from church last night, Eowyn pitched the biggest fit, yelling "I need my Tia!!" Jeremy seems to be working a whole lot more this month and isn't as available to help out, except at night. He leaves tomorrow morning at 8 for his trip. I think we're going to go stay at the farm again.
I've finally resorted to bribery. I've got a bowl of m&m's, and I've told Eowyn she can have some when she goes pee-pee on the toilet. She went this morning, but since then it doesn't seem to be working. She doesn't understand the concept of bribery I guess. She says "I need chocolate." I say, "You can have some when you go pee on the toilet." She says, "No, I not go pee on the toilet, I need chocolate." And then we repeat several times. Fun. She went poop in her diaper, and then told me and said she needed to some chocolate. I tried to explain that she didn't get chocolate for going poop in her diaper. She didn't get it.
Anyway, that's what been happening!

Christmas Pictures!

2008-12-02T22:01:00.004-05:00

So last year I sent out Christmas picture cards with three pictures, one good, and two not so good. And here's the reason:Sooo helpful! We finally talked her into smiling for a nice picture for her Mimi and Pepa. We decorated the tree last night. Eowyn loved it! She kept calling the ornaments her new toys. It was so much fun. Every year just gets better and better. Our first Christmas together was almost sad, because we didn't have any history with our ornaments, or really very many ornaments. But each year, we gain a little history, a little tradition. This year we have our first "hand-made" ornaments by the kids. From my memories, I know we will have many more. I love creating Christmas traditions with my little family. I hope my kids have as many wonderful memories of our Christmases as I do. Anyway, we now have a tree, and Christmas boxes all over the house. Hopefully I will be able to clean those out in the next few days. I'm still not completely done putting everything out. Its a busy week for us though. Tomorrow we are going on a big shopping trip with the whole Veatch family. Friday night we have Front Porch at church, Saturday night we have a party, and Sunday Jeremy leaves on another business trip. I love Christmas! (well I really don't like the fact that Jeremy has to leave on a trip but everything else I love.) Here's some more pictures of us decorating the tree:

Thanksgiving!

2008-11-29T21:22:00.003-05:00

We had such a nice Thanksgiving. Jeremy had to work on Wednesday and Friday, so we stayed at home and spent the day with my family. I made the pecan pie and the sweet potatoes and they were actually good! I didn't mess up the recipes! Who knew? And being the perfect mother that I am, I forgot to bring the camera, so these pictures were taken after a long day, with lots of food, so they aren't perfect. Gideon has on the same outfit Eowyn wore on her firsts Thanksgiving. She was two months older than he is and he just barely fit it. He's such a big boy. On Friday we went shopping. I almost missed it because I didn't wake up to the alarm clock. It was fun and I'm really glad we didn't try to go to Charlotte. People go a little nuts on Black Friday. I did get a little Christmas shopping done and I'm about half way finished. We'll be decorating the house tomorrow for Christmas so I'll post some more pictures soon.

Up-Dates

2008-11-17T10:26:00.003-05:00

Let's see... I've thought about some updates ya'll might want to hear about. Now, I'm trying to remember. Ok, Gideon turned two months on the 5th and of course had a doctor's appointment. He weighed 14 lbs. 12 oz. and was 25 inches long. He's bigger than 97% of babies his age! Eowyn only weighs 23 pounds, so he might catch up to her. (I won't tell you my weight, but its not where I want it to be yet!) Gieon looks great though. He had three shots, which we both hated. Afterwards he was fine though. Eowyn always was miserable after her shots, but Gideon did great. He's still sleeping through the night, which is wonderful, but I've had some real problems getting him to go to sleep at a decent hour. Last night I got him to go down at 11! I was so excited. Usually, its not until at least 1, and I've just not been getting enough sleep. Last week, while Jeremy was gone on a buisness trip, I went out to the farm to stay with Mom and Dad. It was wonderful! Thanks Mom! I slept most of the day, I just got up for lunch, and then went back down when Eowyn took a nap. Gideon just nursed on and off the whole time. I was so glad to get some sleep! And I also got to shower by myself, with the door tightly clsoed! Jeremy goes away again in December, and even though I miss him, I'm kind of looking forward to it. I know, that sounds awful. I've begun potty training Eowyn again. There was too much going on earlier. Hopefully this time will stick. She's gone on the toilet the last two mornings, so that's encouraging. We still haven't had to buy any diapers for Gideon because of all the gifts we received, so it would be great if I could get her trained before we have to start buying for two. Anyway, that it for now! I think that's us up-to-date

Scissor Crazy

2008-11-15T17:59:00.004-05:00

I finally decided it was time...time to cut Eowyn's hair. Last weekend Karen was over and we were watching Eowyn's long hair and wondering if it was time. When Jeremy got home he agreed, so we went to work. I almost cried as I snipped, and so did Karen. Her beautiful little curls! But her hair was growing in layers and needed to be trimmed just to keep it healthy. I only cut an inch off, but then the next night I decided to cut off a little more and now its up to her shoulders. My little baby is getting so grown up!
The finished product! She looks really cute, and much more grown up.

Bonfire!

2008-11-03T10:29:00.005-05:00

So last night, instead of church, we decided to do something "fallish." After my week, we needed to do something together as a family that was just fun. So we built a bonfire!

Ok, ok, so "bonfire" might be stretching it a bit, but it was a fire in my flower pot. We all got dressed in our hoodies and sat in our driveway around the pot. It was so much fun! The fire wasn't actually big enough to keep us warm, but it was hot enough to cook some hotdogs and marshmellows. Eowyn had a blast, I didn't realize she had ketchup all over her face until I saw the pictures, but oh well. Gideon was wondering why we were outside in the cold when we could have been warm and snuggly inside the house. Jeremy and I want to go camping now.

Halloween Pics!

2008-11-03T10:15:00.004-05:00

Here's the Princess and the Ghost!
One or the other, they both can't be smiling in the same picture. Does anyone have photoshop?

Oh boy, oh boy, oh booooy

2008-11-01T11:23:00.002-04:00

Yesterday is over! (I just realized, that is one thing I can say everyday.) Today is here, and the stress of yesterday is seeping out of my body. It was a bad day. I just had to do too much. First, I had a chiropractor appointment, which I love, but I took both kids, which is fine, but doesn't add to the relaxing atmosphere. From there, I went to Walmart for the first time with both kids for groceries. I wasn't really sure how to work everything, but we survived although I was exhausted by the end. I was exhausted, and they were hungry. So we had to rush home, unpile all the groceries, make Eowyn's lunch, nurse Gideon, put Eowyn down for a nap, hope Gideon would stay asleep,and then make my own lunch. Gideon did stay asleep, but while sleeping had a blowout which needed a bath to clean up. So I bathed him a little early and got him ready for trick or treating. He looked really cute dressed as a little ghost. Then I had to clean up the kitchen and living room for Strawberry Sisterhood last night. I tried to get done before Eowyn woke up, but that didn't work out either. So I had to finish cleaning, then get her dressed up as a princess, and I didn't really have time to fix her hair. Gideon wanted to nurse again and then we had to rush out to the farm to do our trick or treating at Grandma and Granddaddy's. We hung out there, thankfully Grandma fed us dinner, for a little bit, then I had to rush to get dressed for our party. Karen and I had decided to dress as the Ugly Stepsisters (I should have just given it up.) I couldn't find a dress to wear because I'm not quite back to where I want to be body-wise, which only made me feel worse. Then I had to rush back home to vaccum, and get ready for the Strawberry's, and finish getting dressed. One of the girls pulled up at the same time I did, so I had to do all those things with an audience. The Strawberry's watched Private Eyes, which is where my title comes from for those of you who haven't seen it. I think I'm going to try to do some yoga to get rid of the tension. Ugh, I hope I didn't stress you out reading all this! I also really need to find a double stroller so I can go jogging and lose this extra weight that annoys me. Of course, now I have a ton of chocolates in the house which is not going to help me slim down. Anyway, I will post some pictures later today, maybe even try to post a nicer post. This is just venting!

Sweet Sleep

2008-10-25T11:32:00.005-04:00

Gideon has finally started sleeping through the night! He's slept for 8 hours each night this week. This just makes all the difference in the world. Plus on top of that, on Wednesday Jeremy and I cleaned like mad so the house is finally inhabitable again. Gideon still has a fussy time late at night but I'm just trying to love him out of it. I realized I was trying to teach him too many things at once...when to sleep and to sleep on his own. So now I've taught him when to sleep, and we've begun teaching him to sleep on his own. The last few nights he's slept in the infant-seat because he's snuggled in and feels like he's being held. During the day I'm letting him take naps in my bed so he'll get used to being in a bed. It's going well. He really is such a sweet boy. His whole face lights up everytime I come into his line of vision. He smiles and coos, and tells us all about his little world. He is just so in love with his mama, I, of course, love it! Eowyn is such an independent spirit that she never was just so happy in love. I see so much of myself in her. She is so defiant and rebellious, but she's also so in love with her daddy. She loves being his princess. I love watching the two of them, because I can see him teaching her how she should be treated and loved. And it's funny, when she doesn't know what to do, she looks to me to see if and how a girl does this. When she caught her first fish, Daddy was holding the thing and touching it, but she wouldn't go near it until I showed her that girls hold the fish by the string. She loves pretty things too; for Halloween we got her this beautiful princess dress that twirls just right, and Mom found her some beautiful, sparkly pink shoes. She loves it! The shoes are even a little too tight, but she doesn't care. Let them cut off her circulation, she looks pretty! It is fascinating to watch my children grow and learn. Anyway, here's some pictures of Gideon's sweet smile, I'll post some princess pictures after Halloween.

Finishing the Story...

2008-10-18T23:13:00.007-04:00

It's only 11:15 on Saturday night and Gideon is already asleep! I might be getting my hopes up too soon, but I really hope he's down for the night. Anyway, let's see....

After playing at the lake house, we headed over to Jeremy's parents'. They live in Griffin, GA, only an hour or so from Milledgeville. On Sunday, we went to AL, where Jeremy's grandparents live, and introduced Gideon his great-grandparents. We got to see almost everyone. Its been a really long time since we've been down there because we decided not to travel during the pregnancy to avoid hypertension. Everyone was doing well and were really excited to meet Gideon. He didn't tolerate the traveling well, once he's ready to eat there's nothing to distract him. I don't pump or even own any bottles, so we sat around in quite a few gas stations. Sunday night we went back to Griffin, and spent most of Monday with Jeremy's parents before heading home. Gideon turned a 5 1/2 hour trip into 8 hours. It was a good visit though.

This week has been a bit of a blur. I've been trying my hardest to get a handle on the house. It's not really gone well though.

10/19 Ha! I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up about going to bed before midnight! If I get my hopes up it is only worse. He woke up and kept me up until 2 last night. It did not make for a lovely morning getting ready for church. Which is what I was going to write about next anyway....

Gideon is a very needy baby. I know, most infants are, but unless I can get him into a really deep sleep, I can't put him down especially at night. Thankfully, Eowyn is so flexible she has started sleeping in too, so we sleep until 10 when we can. But it has been difficult. I'm the type of person who really needs sleep, every night. One night of short sleep and I'm off for several days. I'm also a little selfish about sleep. I could let Gideon sleep with me, and he would probably sleep through the night very easily but I like to sleep alone and on my stomach. I'm really struggling with how to teach him to go to sleep earlier. I wouldn't mind getting up with him several times if he would just fall asleep! Otherwise mothering him has been wonderful. He's such a sweetheart, already smiling and talking to me. He's already getting his budda belly, and rolling thunder thighs. He eats all the time. Eowyn just loves him. She just can't stand how cute he is! She gives him some of the roughest hugs. The other day, while she was smothering him, Gideon reached up and grabbed her hair and yanked! She was so insulted, it was hilarious. She couldn't believe he would be so rude, but I told her she needed to be more gentle. Ok, now here's some pictures from the trip:

Finally!

2008-10-15T20:06:00.009-04:00

10/15 Ok, I don't know how much time I'll have....oh, nevermind Jeremy just gave the baby back to me! So more later....

10/17 Yes, its been two days, but oh well. Maybe I can get this done today. Eowyn is watching Thomas and Gideon is asleep. I really should be cleaning, but I'm tired too. Let's see, the past month has been a busy one. We went to the beach with my family. Eowyn and Jeremy loved it, Gideon and I enjoyed it, but we didn't leave the house much. Jeremy fished a lot and Eowyn played and fed the birds, played in the water, ran through the sand, and had a blast. It was nice for me because Mom and Karen were there and pretty much took care of Eowyn all week.

When we came home it was my birthday. That was a wonderful day. We went over to Charlotte and had our family pictures done, spent way too much money on them, but they're really good. At least, Eowyn's are. Gideon was very grumpy, still cute but grumpy. After that we went to Olive Garden and then the mall. Two of my favorite places. I really loved it.

The next week, I started Greek class again. I was really ready to get back into a schedule of some sort that week, but I've realized it's just not possible. Maybe in a few weeks. Then we left again to go down to the lake house. We left Wednesday night and after spending an hour in a gas station parking lot, decided to get a hotel room for the night. It was a cheap, yucky hotel, but we got the rest we needed. We had a king size bed and all 4 of us slept in it. It was cute, not comfortable, but cute! Thursday we got down to the lake house and started relaxing. Friday was beautiful. We went out on the boat and Eowyn caught her first fish. After that she wasn't too interested because it takes so long to get a fish. So she played with the worms. Gross! Jeremy was very proud though. And happy when I told him he could quit trying with Eowyn and use his own rods.

Eowyn is such a Daddy's girl, they had a blast together. Several times she threw her rod into the lake and laughed while Daddy fished it out. Gideon and I did what we do... nursed and snuggled and slept. He's such a sweet heart.

Friday night, Jeremy's parents came over the lake house. Eowyn was thrilled! She loves Mimi and Pepa. On Saturday they hung out with us and had a good time with Eowyn. She helped Daddy catch another fish, and she fed the ducks with Mimi.

And that's as far as I'm getting today, but I'm going to go ahead and post this. I'll finish the story later!

The First Week

2008-09-15T16:12:00.006-04:00

I could actually give this blog many different titles. Tattooed toddler, Tears at 3 am (Mommy's, not baby's), Dish-washing Daddy, Daily Goals (include "shower"), etc. Ahh, the first week with a newborn. It has been eventful, although I haven't been out of the house very often. (I'm actually wondering how long it will take me to write out this blog now, I might have to change the title to the First 2 Weeks!)
It has been a good week. Jeremy had a whole week off of work, which was the first time we've spent that much time with him since he started working at God's Country. So we loved that, and he almost went crazy. He had to keep the house clean, and watch Eowyn, and he went a little house crazy. He did get to go hunting several times, which he really enjoyed and when he came home he was much better. He was wonderful, even though he's already back at work he's kept up with the dishes and has just been my "go-to" guy all week. I love that. He's taken really good care of me.
Eowyn has been off most of the week. Poor thing. She's been a great trooper, but is doing much better now that Mommy is taking care of her again. She really loves Gideon, so much so that she gave him her sniffles. Sharing already, isn't that great? But the fact is that her schedule has been totally thrown out the window. She's flexible, but its been hard on her not receiving her care from me. Plus, because I've been busy elsewhere, she's been given her wants. So she's watched waaay too much TV and too many movies, and has drunk way too much chocolate milk and eaten too many cookies. All this has made her a very whiney girl. But Mommy's coming back, and the sweets are being limited again, and TV is back to a minimum. So she's getting back to normal. She got to go out with her aunts and uncles on Friday for lunch at Tooey's (kind of like a Chuck E. Cheese.) She came home with two tatooes on her arms! So cute! One's a flower, which she recognizes, but the other is a smiley face, which she calls a circle and a snake (the mouth). So my toddler girl has a snake tatoo. What can you do?
How am I doing? Much better now that Gideon finally has his nights and days worked out. On Friday night I had my break down. Gideon would not go to sleep at night, and by Friday I was too exhausted to cope anymore. So at 3:30, when Gideon started crying again after being asleep for 5 minutes, I started sobbing too. Jeremy had moved to the living room to try to get some sleep, since he had to work, but he heard me and came in to try and comfort me. I sobbed through the whole feeding, and afterwards Gideon fell asleep and Jeremy prayed he would stay asleep. He did. And Saturday night he switched. The past two nights I've gotten 5 and a half hour stretches of sleep and then a few more hours in the morning, so I'm doing much better. I've been so grateful that my husband has enough faith to pray our infant to sleep. I was trying, but I was too lost in despair to really believe God could take care of Gideon. Children really do turn you to God. One thing I'm really happy about is the weight loss. I've lost all the pregnancy weight, plus an additional 8 pounds! I love wearing my jeans again.
Gideon is doing great. Its been a couple nights since I began this post and the 5 hour stretches have been shortened to 3 hours, but at least he's still sleeping at night. He's such a sweet baby, and loves to be held. My mom made us a ring sling for me to carry him around in and he loves it. I love it too, I've worn it at Walmart and I get lots of looks and whispers, but no one has been able to put their hands on him.
Anyway, I'll write more later....right now my kids are both asleep and my bed is calling!

September Baby

2008-09-08T13:43:00.023-04:00

Eowyn is at Nonnie's and Gideon is asleep for the moment, so I figured I would get this typed out so everyone can hear about our wonderful weekend. My baby boy decided to be a September baby, just like me, and made me wait 12 long days for his arrival. Labor actually started on Tuesday, the 2nd, of last week. It wasn't bad, just having contractions every ten minutes or so. We just kept waiting on the contractions to get closer together, but they were taking their time. I was fine, they hurt, but were manageable.

On Thursday, we went back to the midwives and I was 5 centimeters dilated, and we were all so excited. Jeremy stayed at work that day, and Karen hung out with me. Contractions were still easily managed, so we just picked up the house, finished packing for the hospital, Karen baked Gideon's second birthday cake (the one I had made was almost a week old by this time!), and then Jeremy came home around 5, took a nap, and showered before we headed for the hospital. It was all very calm, during contractions Karen would use counter pressure, or massage, or support to help me get through it, and then we'd go back to whatever we were doing. (I definitely suggest getting a doula, and I know the best available, so call Karen.) We got to the hospital around 7 and had to wait for a room to be cleaned because I wanted a tub to relax in. After we were settled in, we found out I was already 7 centimeters, only 3 more to go!

Rebecca, one of my awesome midwives, got to the hospital around 8:30 Thursday night and we all hung out and talked about politics, men, babies, etc. Our poor nurse kept coming in to check on me and ask if I needed anything, but I never did. Sometimes we would get her to get me some water, just to make her feel useful, but she was a little bit at a loss since I was going about this naturally. So anyway, I stayed in the tub for a couple hours just relaxing and timing the contractions. Nothing progressed after the tub, so everyone except for Karen and I tried to get some rest. (Jeremy had been up all night on Wednesday night with me, so we let him sleep.) This was around midnight, and we were all hoping the baby would make his appearance around 4 in the morning. At 4:30, I was still 7 centimeters and we were realizing my bag of waters was kind of in the way. So Rebecca broke my water to help get things moving a little quicker. The contractions were harder to manage, but Karen was there to do whatever I needed. By this time, Jeremy was still there, but a little checked out. He was exhausted, and hated seeing me in such pain and just wanted to fix the problem. He's a good husband. But he told me later that if he had seen Becky or Rebecca in the hall, he would have told them to get a doctor in there to do a c-section!

Anyway, we continued on, waiting to see what would happen. Rebecca went off-call at 12 noon on Friday, and Becky, my other wonderful midwife, took over. By this time, the baby was somehow in a position that was killing my hips. I felt like I had a hip dislocated and my whole leg hurt with a numb pain. It was worse than the contractions! I couldn't get comfortable and I was spent, literally. So we decided to give me some nubane (spelling?) that let me sleep in between contractions for an hour or so. Right after each contraction I would pass out, then wake up as soon as the next contraction started. Sounds bad, but I needed each one of those minutes of sleep. I was going on about 3 hours of sleep in 48. After I rested like this for a while, Becky told me we needed to get some pitocin going in order to give the contractions a little more kick. So we started the pitocin, I don't even know what time it was, and let that work for about an hour or so. Around 5 on Friday afternoon I started feeling the urge to push with the contractions. And I was 10 centimeters. Yea! I was still in severe pain with my leg and hip and couldn't find a position that I could use to push effectively. We tried the toilet, the birthing stool, the birthing ball, the squatting bar, just sitting on the bed, but I couldn't push for very long in any of these positions before my legs gave out. Finally, Becky suggested I lay on my side, and I listened. I laid on my left side and Jeremy held my leg up for me. Karen sat behind me on the bed rubbing my back and talking me through each push. In between pushes Jeremy would straighten out my leg to stretch it for me. I screamed with each push and was begging Becky to use the vacuum to get that baby outta me! Becky wouldn't, thankfully. I think if there had been a shop-vac available I would have used it myself. I just wanted that baby out! So, we pushed, pushed, pushed, pushed, and worked and wiggled that baby out. Finally I got the head out and started yelling for Becky to just pull the rest out, but she made me push out every last inch. Which I did. And then he was out, and everything was better. It was awesome. Everyone in the room started making bets on how much he weighed, because he was HUGE! When Eowyn was born, I passed out right after from the drugs, but with Gideon I was fine. (My legs and hips started feeling better right away too!) We were joking, and talking, and it was just fun. We tried to get Gideon to nurse right away, but he wasn't interested and Becky was having to do some repair work, and plus everyone was dying to know how much he weighed so I let the nurse take him to the nursery and Jeremy and Karen went to watch. Karen came back in a little while later to announce that he weighed more than anyone predicted: 11 pounds, 4 ounces! And 23 inches long! We were all shocked, nobody guessed I could have pushed that big of a baby out, but with every one's help and support we did it. I'm so glad that we did this birth naturally, I felt so much more in control and supported, and it was just perfect. And just look at what I got to bring home!

When they finally brought my baby back to me, Karen and Jeremy both split...we needed food! And Karen went to pick up Eowyn to meet her little brother (who happens to already be half her size!). Eowyn was very cautious at first, she was very uncomfortable that Mommy had been at the doctor for such a long time. But soon, she was offering her brother a chicken nugget, and announcing that she would change his diapers when he went poopy. Eowyn only stayed for a little while before Karen took her on home so that Mommy and Daddy could get some rest. (Ha!) The next morning we got ourselves put back together, somewhat and had the family visit and meet Gideon. Jeremy's parents were able to come up and we all celebrated the birth with a birthday party. It was fun, and it gave Eowyn another reason to celebrate, cake! She is so proud of her baby brother, she tells everyone "he's soo cute!"

Later that afternoon, we rested and then waited around until Gideon had been in the hospital for 24 hours before heading home. Thankfully his little outfit fit, although I think I'll only be able to use it this week.

Here's just a few more pictures that I wanted to add:

Isn't he just beautiful? I love Gideon Wayne Allen!

Opening Lines

2008-08-24T16:25:00.006-04:00

Having become a Blog reader, I decided to go ahead and try writing my own blog, or at least my family's blog. It just looks like fun, and plus it will be a good way for everyone to keep up with us Allen's. And since we're about to expand to a fourth, we should have lots to write about, although little time to do so!
That said, let me fill you in on where we are:
Today, August 24, is Gideon's due date, but he like many babies has decided to be late. He's already so much like his father (and I'll admit me too). So we are basically kept in waiting, and hoping that he actually will come out to see us. Jeremy has his work caught up at the store, and I had the house nested (now I really need to re-nest and then move Jeremy and Eowyn out). So we're pretty bored and unmotivated to start any new projects. I know it will be soon, but these days are soo long! Eowyn is very anxious for Gideon's birthday party and especially the cake. It will be interesting to see how she reacts to having a baby in the house all the time. She calls my belly her "baby brother" but I think it will be a surprise when Mommy's belly is gone and we present her with a baby. I know she will love him, I'm just worried she'll love him TOO much. Tomorrow we go back to the midwives to see if anything is happening. I'm hoping they will say "oh my, don't you know you are half-way through labor and need to get to the hospital," but most likely they will say "any time now but not today." I still think it will be Wednesday, the 27th, but I could be wrong and we could have a September baby. We've known since we found out we were pregnant that this baby is purposed and so is his birthday. So we wait and trust.